Yesterday:
9am-3pm - HARRY POTTER WORLD (+)
4pm-12am - Airports, planes, shuttles (-)
Today:
9am-3pm - Unpacking, P-Chem, Studying in the fishbowl (-)
4pm-12am - Fishbowl some more (-)
*sigh*
Monday, November 8, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
So this is me swallowing my pride.....
.....standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night.
Monday, October 25, 2010
It turns out freedom means nothing but missing you...
...and wishing I realised what I had when you were mine
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Groggy
Note to self: ALWAYS wake up early and work out in the morning. Feels better, day is more productive. So tired now and soooo... groggy.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Small Addition
Also, just in case you were wondering. Current ideal has settled into strictly friends. As for recurrence, might be a very real possibility. But highly not considering it.
Anxiety and Preparedness
This year is going to be filled with hopefully, what is fun and adventure. Most likely, it will be filled with a bit more anxiety that I would probably like.
As a result of my desire to be antisocial for a bit, I have read a lot. Read a lot of textbooks that is. For no apparent reason.
On another note, new flatmate. Who is ridiculously clean. Today she apologized for making such a mess. I couldn't see what she was talking about. Now, a look into my room, that is what I call a royal mess. And I have only been here for 3 days.
All in all, looking forward towards another year trying to ace classes that I eventually have to accept a mediocre grade in. But crossing fingers that in spite of that, will have a job offer.
As a result of my desire to be antisocial for a bit, I have read a lot. Read a lot of textbooks that is. For no apparent reason.
On another note, new flatmate. Who is ridiculously clean. Today she apologized for making such a mess. I couldn't see what she was talking about. Now, a look into my room, that is what I call a royal mess. And I have only been here for 3 days.
All in all, looking forward towards another year trying to ace classes that I eventually have to accept a mediocre grade in. But crossing fingers that in spite of that, will have a job offer.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Recurring Problems
One would think that I'd learn by now not to fall twice for the same person. Or even worse, a third time?
Terrible terrible thinking. In addition when you have another current ideal, who is magnificently better, recurrence becomes plain stupidity.
Terrible terrible thinking. In addition when you have another current ideal, who is magnificently better, recurrence becomes plain stupidity.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Lies from Samuel Butler
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
False.
It felt much better when it never existed, because then I wouldn't have known it in the first place. Better is qualified as being in a state of existence at present that is more desirable than the past. Before the love you were fine, afterwards you are sad. Not only that, now that it is gone, the whole time in between was a waste and you might as well have never had it in the first place and could have been much better off doing something else.
Truth?
It's only better to be in love, than not at all. Of course you can't expect all love to never end. But it still doesn't make it better when lost.
False.
It felt much better when it never existed, because then I wouldn't have known it in the first place. Better is qualified as being in a state of existence at present that is more desirable than the past. Before the love you were fine, afterwards you are sad. Not only that, now that it is gone, the whole time in between was a waste and you might as well have never had it in the first place and could have been much better off doing something else.
Truth?
It's only better to be in love, than not at all. Of course you can't expect all love to never end. But it still doesn't make it better when lost.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Recycling
Realised today that not only has this been my longest stint of single-dom (quite loving it), but I haven't liked anyone new in the past year. I've just been...recycling.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hell hath no wrath
Earlier this summer I was looking for tragic love stories, and everything I googled were like Lancelot and Guinevere and Romeo and Juliet, which are all very tragic, but I was looking for a love triangle like Marius/Cosette/Eponine, Tristan/Isolde/Iseult.
Then I had this theory that behind every epic and celebrated love story was the woman that everyone forgets about. I googled some famous love stories, lo and behold: behind many EPIC love couples stands the woman who was scorned. Some were less screwed than others, some were pretty kickass, and some probably had it better off with their stupid douchebag lovers chasing after someone else...but still. Fuck the actual tragic love story, the real tragedy lies in these girls.
Marius and Cosette - Eponine, she died by jumping in front of a bullet to save Marius's life. The only reason she was in such a dangerous position in the first place was cos Cosette sent her to send a letter to Marius to tell him she, Cosette, was safe.
Romeo and Juliet - Rosaline, loved first by Romeo, also a Capulet. Romeo sees her at a party, then sees Juliet, and Rosaline is forgotten. But in the end, luckily she still lived.
Paris and Helen - Yeah yeah Trojan War, but Paris had a wife. She was a mountain nymph, A NYMPH WITH MAGICAL POWERS IN PROPHECY AND HEALING, and he abandons her for Helen. Oh, they had a son too. When Paris abandons her, she sends their son to a) guide the Greeks to Troy, and b) Stop Paris from sleeping with Helen. Paris doesn't recognize his son and kills him. So later on, when Paris gets an arrow in him, he goes to her to heal him. She's like "Uh, NO" and Paris stumbles off and dies. But she feeling remorse throws herself onto his funeral pyre (*sigh* girls who can't get over their men)
Mark Antony and Cleopatra - Fulvia, his wife. She was the most powerful woman in the Roman Empire and can be credited with why Antony himself became so powerful. As in without her, he would be nothing. She was the first non-deity woman to be put on a coin too. Basically she had been married twice before, but each husband died in war (sad, seriously, but she was still pretty kickass). She managed to maintain the loyalty of all her husbands' old supporters so that when she married Antony he had a large group of supporters. Thus when Caesar died he was the most powerful man in Rome. Antony's political enemy, Cicero, was frequently silenced by Fulvia's own campaigns for Antony. When Rome needed money, Fulvia went and scared it out of people. And when Antony wanted to form the Trimuvirate? Fulvia married their daughter to Octavian and STOPPED Octavian from taking full power. So Antony and Octavian go off to kill Caesar's assassins and Fulvia is left in Rome to tend to basically the Roman Empire. There were two consuls, but everyone knew the power was in her hands. Octavian comes back first and decides to divide up the lands for the Trimuvirates and tries to take some of Antony's, and Fulvia was like "Bitch, please, these lands are mine!" and starts a war. This is where it gets a bit sad. So she escalates the war to get Antony's attention, cos the only reason he's not home to defend his lands is cos he's off fucking Cleopatra. Antony sails back, yells at Fulvia for starting a war and goes off to finish the war. She gets sick. And he's sailing back to see her again, and she dies. Hah, screw you Antony.
Lancelot and Guinevere - Elaine, I feel a little less bad for this girl, you'll see why. Lancelot saves Elaine from a burning bath, she falls in love with him.He of course is in love with Guinevere. So Elaine gets her lady in waiting or whtever to get Lancelot drunk, she wear's Guinevere's ring and tricks him into thinking she's Guinevere and sleeps with him. Lancelot threatens to kill her, but Elaine is like: NO I'M PREGNANT. She's preg with Galahad, who apparently is some famous-ass knight later on. Elaine is then always at court and Lancelot basically ignores her. She is sad, tricks him again to sleep with her. But this time, Guinevere walks in on them, she gets mad, tells Lancelot she'll never see him again. Lancelot goes mad, jumps out of a window. Later he goes on this quest to seek the Holy Grail. He shows up insane, in Elaine's garden. Elaine shows him the Holy Grail, and he is cured! They live together for 10 years, raising their son as man and wife. Also, I am forgetting, King Arthur is being scorned here too, by his wife. This one is just a doubly tragic thing.
Orpheus and Eurydice - Hecate, not much can be found here. Apparently he goes to Tartarus, charms Hecate and then later falls in love with Eurydice. Hecate, a goddess of the underworld (she's the one they call upon for like witchcraft), puts a spell on that god who falls in love with Eurydice, causing her to be bitten by a snake on her wedding day and die.
Odysseus and Penelope - actually here I think Penelope got screwed cos Odysseus slept around with a bunch of goddesses while she was at home weaving a loom. But, before Penelope, there was Helen. Odysseus was in love with her...huh. Figures.
Jason and Medea - Medea actually. She agrees to help him only if he marries her when he succeeds, so he does. She helps him on his epic quest for the Golden Fleece (playing many important roles, esp cos she's smart and pretty much a demi-goddess) but when he arrives in Corinth he falls in love with the king's daughter and marries her instead. Medea gets upset, sends the princess a poisoned crown and then kills Jason and her's children.
Then I had this theory that behind every epic and celebrated love story was the woman that everyone forgets about. I googled some famous love stories, lo and behold: behind many EPIC love couples stands the woman who was scorned. Some were less screwed than others, some were pretty kickass, and some probably had it better off with their stupid douchebag lovers chasing after someone else...but still. Fuck the actual tragic love story, the real tragedy lies in these girls.
Marius and Cosette - Eponine, she died by jumping in front of a bullet to save Marius's life. The only reason she was in such a dangerous position in the first place was cos Cosette sent her to send a letter to Marius to tell him she, Cosette, was safe.
Romeo and Juliet - Rosaline, loved first by Romeo, also a Capulet. Romeo sees her at a party, then sees Juliet, and Rosaline is forgotten. But in the end, luckily she still lived.
Paris and Helen - Yeah yeah Trojan War, but Paris had a wife. She was a mountain nymph, A NYMPH WITH MAGICAL POWERS IN PROPHECY AND HEALING, and he abandons her for Helen. Oh, they had a son too. When Paris abandons her, she sends their son to a) guide the Greeks to Troy, and b) Stop Paris from sleeping with Helen. Paris doesn't recognize his son and kills him. So later on, when Paris gets an arrow in him, he goes to her to heal him. She's like "Uh, NO" and Paris stumbles off and dies. But she feeling remorse throws herself onto his funeral pyre (*sigh* girls who can't get over their men)
Mark Antony and Cleopatra - Fulvia, his wife. She was the most powerful woman in the Roman Empire and can be credited with why Antony himself became so powerful. As in without her, he would be nothing. She was the first non-deity woman to be put on a coin too. Basically she had been married twice before, but each husband died in war (sad, seriously, but she was still pretty kickass). She managed to maintain the loyalty of all her husbands' old supporters so that when she married Antony he had a large group of supporters. Thus when Caesar died he was the most powerful man in Rome. Antony's political enemy, Cicero, was frequently silenced by Fulvia's own campaigns for Antony. When Rome needed money, Fulvia went and scared it out of people. And when Antony wanted to form the Trimuvirate? Fulvia married their daughter to Octavian and STOPPED Octavian from taking full power. So Antony and Octavian go off to kill Caesar's assassins and Fulvia is left in Rome to tend to basically the Roman Empire. There were two consuls, but everyone knew the power was in her hands. Octavian comes back first and decides to divide up the lands for the Trimuvirates and tries to take some of Antony's, and Fulvia was like "Bitch, please, these lands are mine!" and starts a war. This is where it gets a bit sad. So she escalates the war to get Antony's attention, cos the only reason he's not home to defend his lands is cos he's off fucking Cleopatra. Antony sails back, yells at Fulvia for starting a war and goes off to finish the war. She gets sick. And he's sailing back to see her again, and she dies. Hah, screw you Antony.
Lancelot and Guinevere - Elaine, I feel a little less bad for this girl, you'll see why. Lancelot saves Elaine from a burning bath, she falls in love with him.He of course is in love with Guinevere. So Elaine gets her lady in waiting or whtever to get Lancelot drunk, she wear's Guinevere's ring and tricks him into thinking she's Guinevere and sleeps with him. Lancelot threatens to kill her, but Elaine is like: NO I'M PREGNANT. She's preg with Galahad, who apparently is some famous-ass knight later on. Elaine is then always at court and Lancelot basically ignores her. She is sad, tricks him again to sleep with her. But this time, Guinevere walks in on them, she gets mad, tells Lancelot she'll never see him again. Lancelot goes mad, jumps out of a window. Later he goes on this quest to seek the Holy Grail. He shows up insane, in Elaine's garden. Elaine shows him the Holy Grail, and he is cured! They live together for 10 years, raising their son as man and wife. Also, I am forgetting, King Arthur is being scorned here too, by his wife. This one is just a doubly tragic thing.
Orpheus and Eurydice - Hecate, not much can be found here. Apparently he goes to Tartarus, charms Hecate and then later falls in love with Eurydice. Hecate, a goddess of the underworld (she's the one they call upon for like witchcraft), puts a spell on that god who falls in love with Eurydice, causing her to be bitten by a snake on her wedding day and die.
Odysseus and Penelope - actually here I think Penelope got screwed cos Odysseus slept around with a bunch of goddesses while she was at home weaving a loom. But, before Penelope, there was Helen. Odysseus was in love with her...huh. Figures.
Jason and Medea - Medea actually. She agrees to help him only if he marries her when he succeeds, so he does. She helps him on his epic quest for the Golden Fleece (playing many important roles, esp cos she's smart and pretty much a demi-goddess) but when he arrives in Corinth he falls in love with the king's daughter and marries her instead. Medea gets upset, sends the princess a poisoned crown and then kills Jason and her's children.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Third time's the charm?
I guess that may be the case if they ever get there.
Guy makes big mistake once, forgiven.
Guy makes SAME big mistake, with less of an excuse again.
Fine, forgiven.
But don't expect to hear from me again.
Guy makes big mistake once, forgiven.
Guy makes SAME big mistake, with less of an excuse again.
Fine, forgiven.
But don't expect to hear from me again.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Psychic Friends
It's amazing when a friend can tell you're upset on Gchat when you haven't even said anything.
It's amazing when a friend can tell you're upset just by seeing you study math on a sunny day. And when you deny it, he proves it by picking up your iPod and seeing your current playlist.
It's amazing when a friend can tell you're upset just by seeing you study math on a sunny day. And when you deny it, he proves it by picking up your iPod and seeing your current playlist.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Repeat
I always have to listen to one song through all of finals studying. It has to be emotional, but has nothing to do with my own emotions at the time. Or be some experience that is very painful/happy that I have not had.
Strange.
I know.
Strange.
I know.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Teardrops On My Guitar
"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only one whose got enough of me to break my heart..."
It's been a really self-fulfilling few months. Ever since a few prodding words from friends, I've set out to find my motivations for everything. I think it's really grounded me and even steered my emotions in a certain ways that are more healthy.
Boys, how can we ever get rid of them? And when one can break your heart so easily, it's sad to think that he doesn't even know it and that what he thinks of you is not even close to how much you care for him.
Yet, had I not found out that I just love helping others for the sake of helping them, the situation does not anger me. Of course, upsetness is natural, even a little bit of sadness. But at least steps are finally being taken to get rid of my vengefulness.
In the end I chalk this up to another guy being guy, doesn't realise what he's doing. It's so much harder to get mad at them when it's not actually their fault. When they don't even realise how much they're using you. When they don't even realise that they are in fact hurting you a lot. Is it worse than if they do it consciously? Maybe. Maybe not.
It's been a really self-fulfilling few months. Ever since a few prodding words from friends, I've set out to find my motivations for everything. I think it's really grounded me and even steered my emotions in a certain ways that are more healthy.
Boys, how can we ever get rid of them? And when one can break your heart so easily, it's sad to think that he doesn't even know it and that what he thinks of you is not even close to how much you care for him.
Yet, had I not found out that I just love helping others for the sake of helping them, the situation does not anger me. Of course, upsetness is natural, even a little bit of sadness. But at least steps are finally being taken to get rid of my vengefulness.
In the end I chalk this up to another guy being guy, doesn't realise what he's doing. It's so much harder to get mad at them when it's not actually their fault. When they don't even realise how much they're using you. When they don't even realise that they are in fact hurting you a lot. Is it worse than if they do it consciously? Maybe. Maybe not.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Math Valentine
Bit post-VDay season, but still cute nonetheless
9x - 7i > 9x - 21u
-7i > 21 u
i '<3' u>
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Stupid
I looked aroun the room and by the look on everyone else's face...they understood it all, and I, nothing.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Appreciation
You really start to appreciate how much time you have after going through 10 straight weeks of hell. And then this appreciation turns into laziness where you realise you have all this time to do stuff and you end up taking naps in your free time.
So much for developing better time management skills.
On another note February fall is seeming to kick in early this year. Cracks are forming at the foundations, if it breaks in before the middle of February then maybe it'll repair before Feb ends.
So much for developing better time management skills.
On another note February fall is seeming to kick in early this year. Cracks are forming at the foundations, if it breaks in before the middle of February then maybe it'll repair before Feb ends.
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